Conversion of a church member
Here is something I read on Facebook.
A conversion testimony
Spring break, 20 years ago. I had picked up a book on winter break but stopped reading when night classes resumed. And then a few months later as I sat on my bed reading this book next to my boyfriend (later, husband) who was working on producing his music, the Lord revealed to me my sin: ***I*** was the religious hypocrite that was depicted in the book. ***I*** had professed to know God (sometimes) and yet violated His holy law in countless ways: I was a liar, I was sexually immoral (with men and women, “such were some of us”), I had hatred in my heart, I got drunk and took drugs for “fun,” I was selfish, I dishonored my parents, I coveted, I blasphemed God’s holy Name, I stole, I never honored the Lord’s Day and I certainly did not honor, revere, fear, or love God, Jesus was a name I grew up with but had no love towards Him, and He certainly was not precious to me. Like many of us who go to church and profess to know God, He was something that might come up every now and then, but He certainly was an after-thought, NOT the center of my affection nor Savior of my soul. Romans 1:18-32 described my life and moral decline.
I was not seeking God.
“As it is written:
“There is none righteous, no, not one;
There is none who understands;
There is none who seeks after God.
They have all turned aside;
They have together become unprofitable;
There is none who does good, no, not one.””
I had a good job on a decent career path. I was putting myself through college with a 4.0 GPA. I was polite and civilized during the day. I was living for myself and for sin the whole time; it was more apparent on weekends to those who knew me. But He Who knew me best knew that I was on the broad road to destruction. My high-handed fist-shaking rebellion was seen in heaven; I should have been snuffed out long ago. BUT GOD – God graciously and mercifully set His saving love on this undeserving wretch, and showed me my sin, that I might see, that I might SEE my true need for Jesus Christ as the Savior for my soul.
“Therefore the law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith.” Galatians 3:24
I went into the small bathroom attached to our bedroom. I closed and locked the door, and wept and wept and wept. I did not know what was happening because even though I had grown up in “the church,” even in a missionary family, my spiritually-dead state had stopped my ears from hearing and my eyes from seeing what the Bible details – God was graciously saving me, causing me, by His grace alone, to be born again from above (see John 3:3). He gave me the gift of faith in Jesus’ righteousness alone and His payment for my sins alone as the *only* way a sinner like me (or you, my friend) could ever be forgiven by a holy God. God was giving me a new heart with new desires and affections, a heart that now wants to love and please Him rather than myself, a heart that hates the sin I used to love and loves the Triune God I used to hate (as evidenced by my sinful rebellion).
“For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” 2 Corinthians 5:21
“I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” Isaiah 43:25
God took this wretched sinner and made me a trophy of HIS grace. What mercy, what mercy!! If you could only understand the darkness and the blindness — the complete, utter inability to see how dead I was in my sins! I was SO dead I didn’t realize there was spiritual *life* but that I was entirely *dead* — you would drop everything and give praise to God that He would save anyone, anyone like this! Praise be to the Lord Jesus alone, for being the righteousness of God on behalf of His children, and for having suffered on the cross, bearing the wrath of God on behalf of His children so that we will not receive the punishment we deserve because He bore it for us. In all ways He was our Substitute. The Just Judge of all the earth will do what is right, and He will judge the wicked; only those who repent of their sins (whether “flashy” sins or not, ALL sins deserve damnation, because Whom we are sinning against) and trust in Jesus *alone* as the only way that guilty sinners like us could *ever* be forgiven will be forgiven, by the grace of God alone (Ephesians 2:8-9).
“Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.” 2 Corinthians 5:20
I implore you my friends, be reconciled to God. If you have no love for holiness, if Jesus is not precious to you, if your life is characterized by ongoing sin – seek God through His Word while there is time. If you profess to be a Christian and yet wonder why it all seems so “forced”, please go to WhatIfImPretending.com, or better yet, read the short book of 1 John to examine yourself to see if you are in the truth (as 2 Corinthians 13:5 instructs us to do). If you do not profess to be a Christians, open the book of John, or open the book of Romans – seek God where He may be found, while He may be found.
“From Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen.” Romans 11:36
*pic from 1998
*The Lord used a godly man at my work to speak to me (and other co-workers) about the need to be reconciled to God through Jesus. I give thanks to God, forever and ever, for this dear (now) brother, Randy M. He was pressing this to my conscience during this time.
The author of this post added this comment:
Elly McMashehu *I don’t mention the name of the book on purpose. It has theology that leaves much wanting, though God graciously used it to save me nonetheless. I always say that He could have saved me if I had walked into a Buddhist temple, showing me I too was an idolater, but He sovereignly chose to use this less-than-great book.
Posted on March 25, 2020, in Facebook and tagged church membership, conversion, Elly McMashehu, Facebook, grace of God, reconciliation with God, WhatIfImPretending.com. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.