Posted by Clyde Herrin
Here is something I read on Facebook. It is addressed to women but it applies equally to men.
🍃A Christian woman who is accustomed to dealing with her own emotions will be very difficult to control. She is not living in service of her own feelings or moods, and that makes it very hard to enslave her to those of another.
🍃A woman who cannot say “no” to herself is extremely easy to catch and control with almost any bait. With our children we have called this “fishhook friends”- someone who is always lobbing bait at you like “You are the only person I know who really understands me” or “You are the only selfless friend I have” or “I wish I was as beautiful as you” etc.
🍃If you are not self disciplined you will rise to almost any bait that is flattering or indulgent to you. “I am THE ONLY ENCOURAGER! I am “THE ONLY THOUGHTFUL ONE” or “The BEST listener” but there is often a hook buried inside that bait- and the person who pulls it back can hurt you greatly. “You have let me down.” “You aren’t a REAL friend.” “I never actually thought you were pretty.”
🍃When we are self controlled we will not wander into manipulative behavior ourselves either. We do not spend time with friends trying to set them up to compliment us.
🍃If you find yourself softly lying to friends, you need to think more deeply about what is going on. Either you are dishonoring Jesus because you are serving your friend instead of Him or you are dishonoring Him because you want them to serve you. Either way, this is not the path of Christian friendship.
🍃Many women are in this kind of friendship because they have never seen it done any other way. But life in a snare of fishing lines being yanked all directions is neither fun, nor a picture of Christian friendship.
🍃Practice self control, notice yourself fishing for compliments, only tell the truth, and don’t be a flatterer. Christian women can be a great and glorious force of camaraderie when it all begins and ends with loyalty to Christ.