The unpardonable sin
Here is something I read on Facebook.
The unpardonable sin
INGRID SUFFERED WITH ME AS I BELIEVED I COMMITTED THE UNPARDONABLE SIN
That moment you realize that you are not saved after all…and that look from Ingrid wondering if I will ever be okay.
My heart broke as I read through the books of Jude, 2 Peter, 2 Timothy seemingly for the first time about my own lawlessness and apostasy, wondering if one such as me could be saved or if my day of grace had passed…10 years ago I did not understand that the Judas type apostate never repents and never desires to…that Jesus still calls, “Come unto Me all ye who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest”…the picture still breaks my heart as Ingrid would spend 2 years of her life living with someone who was convinced he was going to hell with no hope…but God in His mercy and grace did save me and I cry out to you, any of you who think you are too filthy, too dirty, too black to come to Christ…Come to Him…bring all you filth and your sins and come to Him…You will find Him to be a perfect Savior…but you come to Him on His terms..in repentance and in faith…
“All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out.”
How God saved a wretch like me….My testimony of His mercy and grace…
My name is Blaine Michael Seman. I was raised in a Catholic family and always loved the Jesus that was presented to me at that time. When I was 20 years old, I had a supernatural experience that led me out of Catholicism into Evangelical Christianity and I believed and professed that I was born again. I taught at an Evangelical Christian school for 17 years and outwardly appeared to be Christian, although my private life and secret thoughts were anything but.
When we moved to Taiwan in 1997, and were no longer under any religious restraints, the evils of my unregenerated heart became more evident and I was fully in the world and in sin, yet still convinced that I was saved. In 2008, a series of events brought me to question my faith and I started to read sermons by Charles Haddon Spurgeon. It didn’t take me long to realize that the prince of preachers would have never been convinced that I was a Christian, but rather a hypocrite with an empty profession. For the first time in my life, I saw the depths of my sin and instead of repenting and fleeing to the cross, I instead convinced myself that I was unforgivable, too dirty, and too vile to be cleansed. I spent the next 2 years in a bedridden, clinical depression believing that I was going to a hypocrite’s hell.
In 2010, my wife Ingrid planned to return to Canada with me, as she could no longer endure living with my madness in Taiwan, but in August of that same year, God brought a man into my life by the name of Jay Wingaard. He too was a false convert and he wrote me these words;
“Scripture is clear that if one truly repents and turns to Christ that He will in no wise cast them out. The truly only unforgivable sin is to die in your sins without Christ.” in another letter Jay wrote: “Rest in the promises of Scripture and the great truth that God cannot and will not lie. His promise is that all those who come to Christ with a contrite heart, broken over their sin and embracing Him in faith will be saved for He is glorified by His immeasurable grace and mercy! May you echo the words of Paul that he, being the chief of all sinners, was and is saved by the amazing grace of God in Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit! (1 Tim 1:15) Amen to that!”
Through these letters and scripture…the Holy Spirit showed me Jesus Christ extending His hand of mercy to one as wretched as I and the Father running towards me to kiss my filthy neck….I was granted the gifts of repentance and saving faith….I remember the tears hitting the floor with me thanking God for each and every one of them because this new heart that I was given could finally cry and the sin hardened tear-less heart was gone now and forever…. I am a new creation…the Comforter has come…that I a child of hell should in His image shine.
What a glorious gospel!!!! What a precious Savior!!! Who is like our God?
This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen. 1 Tim 1:15-17.
“We may descend in spirit very low till we seem to be plunged in the abyss of hell; but we shall not be left there. We may appear to be at death’s door in heart, and soul, and consciousness; but we cannot remain there. Our inward death as to joy and hope may proceed very far; but it cannot run on to its full consequences, so as to reach the utter corruption of black despair. We may go very low, but not lower than the Lord permits; we may stay in the lowest dungeon of doubt for a while, but we shall not perish there. The star of hope is still in the sky when the night is blackest. The Lord will not forget us and hand us over to the enemy. Let us rest in hope. We have to deal with One whose mercy endureth for ever. Surely, out of death, and darkness, and despair we shall yet arise to life, light, and liberty.”
Charles Haddon Spurgeon
John Newton, who wrote Amazing Grace, was the captain of a slave trading ship before he became a pastor. To the end of his life he was still marveling that he was saved and called to preach the gospel of grace. From his last will and testament we read:
“I commit my soul to my gracious God and Savior, who mercifully spared and preserved me, when I was an apostate, a blasphemer, and an infidel, and delivered me from the state of misery on the coast of Africa into which my obstinate wickedness had plunged me; and who has been pleased to admit me (though most unworthy) to preach his glorious gospel.”
All I have is Christ
I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still
But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace
Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life
Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
O Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You.
But may it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.