Advice for parents

Here is something I read on Facebook.

Advice for parents

by Zach Whitsel

I’ve always been hesitant to give parenting advice but having this fourth one has emboldened me! I feel like I’m ready! I feel like I have some credibility now! So get out your notepads, people, it’s advising time!!!

1. All that stuff you got at your baby shower, and all the rest of that stuff that you bought for your baby off of Amazon, just go ahead and return all of that nonsense. Diapers, wipes, and willpower are all you need! #Relax#NotABabyForever

2. Never, under any circumstances, post pictures of your child in a car seat. You may not realize it, but you are friends with at least two car seat Nazis right now, and they will educate your hind end if you share any pictures verifying your incompetence with a five point harness! #DontFeedTheNazis

3. If you can’t figure out why everybody knows that you just had your very first child, it is because you have three diaper bags with you in the restaurant. #KitchenSinkDiaperBag

4. If your first child drops some of his or her food on the floor, do not let them eat it off of the floor! However, if it is your second child, use the three second rule. If it is your third child you can move that out to about 25 seconds. By number four, just put their food directly on the floor to begin with. #BuildingImmunity

5. Understand that going into public with more than one child is all about appearances. The oldest child needs to look nice because that one is a reflection of your training abilities. The second one can look completely homeless. All children under two, though, need to look like they are dressed for church so that people don’t assume they have no living relatives outside of you. You, on the the other hand, the more homeless you look, the less people will expect from you and the more strangers will try to help you. If you want to be left alone, you need to dress nice. But prepare for judgment if there are behavior issues. #PleadInsanity

6. If you have a child with extreme behavior issues, shift all of your shopping from Target over to Walmart until you can get them to act classy. No one judges at Walmart. #ChildrenOfWalmart

7. Go ahead and embrace the fact that after you pass the two child mark, there is no such thing as a free babysitter. #MakeItRain

8. Don’t be quiet around new babies unless you want to ALWAYS have to be quiet around that child. My children could sleep through a natural disaster and I need for it to be that way. #WelcomeToTheZoo

9. This one is super important. After lights go out at bedtime, don’t turn them back on! #NightTimeDayTime After the baby gets old enough to leave your bedroom, don’t let them back in! #MommyDaddyTime

10. Don’t take parenting advice from a parent who only has one child under two years old. That poor soul, bless their heart, doesn’t actually know what is going on yet. #DemonsAreReal

Posted on July 2, 2019, in Facebook and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I have family members that no longer talk to one another over number 2, sounds ridiculous but they seriously got in a social media battle.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent. rofl

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have nominated you for The Sunshine Blogger Award. Please check out my latest post for details.


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