Lexophiles

Lexophile describes those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish,” or “To write with a broken pencil is pointless” An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.

This year’s winning submission is posted at the very end.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery. 

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool . 

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.

I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time. 

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months . 

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail . 

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

raptureforums.com

Advertisements

Posted on December 23, 2018, in Miscellaneous and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Excellent. I learned something today. Not that brainy. lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on ApoloJedi and commented:
    I love puns…I mean lexography.

    Liked by 1 person

Biblical Beginnings

Christian, wife, mom, homeschooler, traveller

Open Mouth Restaurant

What's In Your Diet

The Science Geek

Astronomy, space and space travel for the non scientist

Way Truth & Life

“I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." John 14:6

Creation Bunch

Creation Science Evidence

HANDS ACROSS THE AISLE

Gender is the Problem, Not the Solution

Bible-Science Guy

Debunking evolutionism. Proclaiming Truth. Exalting the Creator. Exploring Creation.

Kingdom Pastor

Living Freely In God's Kingdom

The Lions Den

"Blending the colorful issues of life with the unapologetic truth of scripture, while adding some gracious ferocity.”

ApoloJedi

Discussing Biblical Authority

A Lawyer's Prayers

CHRISTIAN COMMENTARY ON RELIGION, POLITICS, AND SOCIAL JUSTICE

Truth in Palmyra

By Wally Fry

Squid's Cup of Tea

The Musings of a Messianic Homeschooler

His Eternal Word

Psalm 119:89,"Forever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven"

sixdaysblog

For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. (Exodus 20:11)

%d bloggers like this: