Them Before Us
God established marriage as a lifelong union between a man and a woman. One purpose was to ensure that every child would be brought up and trained by his biological parents.
Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union?And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. (Malachi 2:15)
Sometimes this plan is disrupted by the death of one or both of the parents. This is unfortunate but it isn’t anyone’s fault. But sometimes the plan is disrupted because of the actions of one or both of the parents. Parents get divorced or conceive children without getting married. Children may end up being raised by a gay couple; they have two mothers or two fathers, rather than having a mother and a father as God intended. These situations usually come about because people care more about their rights than they do about the welfare of their children. There is an organization called Them Before Us that seeks to remind us of our responsibilities to our children both by stories of how children are affected and by scientific studies that show that God’s plan is best.
“I want my mom and dad to love me, and I want them to love each other.”
— Jocie, age 7
Josie’s statement illustrates the universal human longing to be known and loved by the two people responsible for one’s existence. Those longings should inform how we talk about marriage and family because children have the most at stake in these conversations. If children could order their own world, it would be one where their mother and father loved them and loved each other throughout their childhood. Children crave both maternal and paternal love, and they feel secure when they see their parents loving each other. It’s what they’re made for. It’s what they long for. And yet, you will seldom hear Jocie’s perspective in discussions on marriage or family. Adults dominate these conversations because they hold all of the power.
Them Before Us is changing that.
We focus the discussion on family structure around those who are hit hardest by non-marital childbearing, who are the casualties of no-fault divorce and the redefinition of marriage, or who are intentionally subjected to motherlessness or fatherlessness through reproductive technologies – the children. Kids can’t organize, advocate, or defend their own interests. But we can. Them Before Us is here to advocate for children by focusing on the child’s perspective through stories and studies. We’ll view questions about family from their perspective through their own words.
Children deserve to be heard. Them Before Us is listening.